


We'll fly home

by snailthesaints



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bipolar Disorder, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Organized Crime, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Psychosis, Reunions, and comfort in 'hurt/comfort', but take note of the fluff in 'fluff and angst', this is angsty ngl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-17 16:13:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5877250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snailthesaints/pseuds/snailthesaints
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unknown Number:<br/>I miss you <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'll Take You Home With Me

It must have been about 11pm as Frank mindlessly flicked through the TV channels, looking for something to put on. In the end, he plumped for some shitty show on the discovery channel, and got out his phone instead. Really, he wanted to sleep but he’d been awake all night before and slept all day, so his body was more alert than ever. Discreetly, he played Neko Atsume, checking over his shoulder as if something or someone was about to jump out and blow his cover, telling the world about the punk rock Frank’s little love for collecting virtual cats, even though he lived alone. He found himself quite content, Tubbs had been back and he was racking up goldfish like there was no tomorrow. 

And then his phone buzzed with a text. Like a switch had been flicked, everything changed.

_Unknown Number:  
I miss you  <3_

Frank thought for a moment, wondering who this person was. What did they want? And why did they miss him? Frank hadn’t been that experienced in the relationships department, he only had 2 exes, one of whom’s death had ruined the then 15 year old. The other had been some sort of rebound. It couldn’t have been either of those two.

He had a decent circle of friends, but he’d spoken to them all recently. None of them had a reason to miss him. And he’d never really fallen out with anybody, friendship wise, in the past either.

Scolding himself for overthinking, the text was probably from his mom, he made some instant noodles, before sitting back down and trying to work out a reply. After spending far too long mulling over a response, he pulled out the oldest trick in the book and pressed send.

_Frank:  
You too, how do you spell your name again?_

He sat back and waited. Works everytime.

No more than a minute later, his phone buzzed again.

_Unknown Number:  
Frankie, I’m not stupid, I invented asking someone to spell their name bc you’re too embarrassed to ask who they are lmao xx_

Frank couldn’t help but find himself becoming uncomfortable. He hadn’t been called ‘Frankie’ since highschool, and those ‘x’s on the end unsettled him for some reason. He racked his brains, trying to remember who it was that even showed him that trick. Or at least someone who used it a lot. But he just came up blank. A little frustrated, he typed out another reply.

_Frank:  
Okay then, who are you?_

Almost immediately it buzzed again.

_Unknown Number:  
I don’t think you want to know xx_

Frank frowned. He tapped out a message almost immediately.

_Frank:  
If I wouldn’t want to know who you are, than I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want you texting me either._

There was a longer wait. Then his phone buzzed twice in quick succession.

_Unknown Number:  
Maybe that’s the case but I don’t think it is. It’s been a while Frankie, a long long while, but I haven’t forgotten about you. Hell, I still know your number off by heart. I’ve wanted to contact you for ages, but I’ve only just got the guts. I just wanted to check you’re okay._

_Unknown Number:  
Are you okay? xx_

Frank read it through a couple of times. Suddenly he felt incredibly vulnerable.

_Frank:  
I was fine until I got an unknown number sending me creepy ass messages. I appreciate the gesture, but who are you?_

Moments later it buzzed again. Multiple times.

_Unknown Number:  
You don’t want to know_

_Unknown Number:  
How are you?_

_Unknown Number:  
Are you studying? College? Where abouts are you living? Met anyone?_

_Unknown Number:  
I really hope this life is being kind to you Frankie xx_

The last message was like a bolt of electricity through his chest. The words seemed so familiar. Heck the entire conversation seemed familiar. But this only served to unsettle him further.

_Frank:  
Do you really think I’m gonna tell a stranger about my life?_

_Unknown Number:  
I’m not a stranger xx_

Frank inhaled shakily, he felt 16 again and he didn't need some ghost from his past fucking him around.

_Frank:  
Then tell me who you are._

_Unknown Number:  
I told you, you don’t want to know xx_

_Frank:  
Listen, you tell me who you are and maybe we chat. You send me another message, still anonymous, and I’m blocking your number._

Frank waited for a second. He breathed deeply. He knew he was letting it get to him way too much.

It was a little longer before his phone buzzed again. But when it did, his heart dropped.

_Unknown Number:  
It’s Gee xx_

Frank stared at the message. He read it over and over again. And then he laughed. Straight up laughed.

Frank:  
Gerard’s dead lmao. I hope you enjoyed your sick joke, I’m blocking you now.

As Frank closed the messaging app, it buzzed again, rapidly, the texts appearing at the top of the screen.

_Unknown Number:  
Shit_

_Unknown Number:  
I’m not_

_Unknown Number:  
It’s me I promise_

_Unknown Number:  
Please don’t block me_

_Unknown Number:  
Fuck_

Frank couldn’t help but laugh at how sheer pathetic this troll was, as he opened up the settings.

He navigated to blocked numbers, and typed it in, without thinking twice. Just as he was about to press ‘block’ his phone buzzed again. But this time the number was calling.

He stared at his phone as it vibrated in his now clammy hands. Smashing pumpkins rang out through his apartment. He froze for a moment, debating whether or not to answer. Adrenaline pulsing through him, he pressed the green button.

“Right listen here kid, jokes over, so could you kindly fuck off, because I have a life to be getting on with - clearly a concept you’re unfamiliar with” he ranted.

There was no reply. The line crackled and Frank felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He could hear gentle breathing.

“I know you’re there so if you’re gonna be too much of a fucking coward to talk to me, I’ll hang u-”

“Frankie?”

Frank’s blood ran cold.

In an instant he recognized it. The slightly nasally, slightly broken voice of Gerard Way.

But Gerard was dead and gone, six foot under for the past 5 years, Frank had buried him, been to his funeral, laid flowers on his grave. The person on the end of the phone couldn’t be him.

“Frankie, are y-you okay?” he sniffled.

Frank sat in stunned silence.

“You need to breathe Frankie”

“Gerard’s d-dead” Frank stuttered “Y-you’re dead”

“I’m not”

“You’re not Gerard, you’re an i-imposter, a-a demon, wh-who are you?”

“I’m Gerard, I-I promise you, I didn’t think they’d actually gone through with it but oh my god, I’m so sorry, Frank, I’m sorry, Frank, I love you, I’m so sorry” Gerard babbled.

“I-it’s you?” Frank burst into tears. Sobbing, listening to Gerard crying to him, his Gerard, it was definitely him. He listened in disbelief, unable to form thoughts, just crying, but he knew it was definitely him.

He'd missed him so much, he couldn't comprehend. He was certain it was a dream but he never wanted to wake up, the sound of his voice brought back all those memories - good and bad, but now he was gone the bad ones seemed insignificant and he'd take on them all and more in a heartbeat if it meant he could have Gerard back. But he wasn't fucking gone. And he didn't understand how or why, it went against every emotion he had, everything he had finally accepted and everything he knew about the universe but there Gerard was on the other end of his phone and how illogical and contradictory it all was didn't matter, because in the sound of his voice, the sound of his sobs, he'd never felt less alone. Nothing had ever felt more right.

Eventually, their breathing steadied, the call was nearing 20 minutes. Gerard sniffled once again.

“Sorry, fuck” he said shakily, taking a deep breath “You okay?”

“Y-yeah” Frank breathed “W-what, what happened?”

“You know Frank”

And then Frank was angry. Beyond angry. Like another switch had flicked and he couldn’t contain it. Because how fucking dare he take what was so right and make it suddenly so wrong, discarding it like it didn't matter, and come back with a few kisses at the end of a text and no warning or explanation, after years of _torment_. Because apparently he was happy with breaking Frank's heart into a million pieces just as long as he wasn't the one picking it all up. And Frank truly felt 15 again, ready to curse at his parents and slam his bedroom door because truthfully no one had picked it up, maybe just kicked it into the corner. He didn't understand any of it and that hurt like hell.

So he ranted.

“No!” he yelled “I don’t know! Gerard why the fuck did you do it? Why did you run? You broke my heart Gee!”

Gerard listened.

“Do you know how many hours I spent crying? Hours I spent putting up posters, talking to the police, talking to missing persons teams, talking to detectives, talking to person after person, recounting every minute of our last moments together, even though every single word hurt to say. Do you know how that felt? And then when they found your body! I almost killed myself because I couldn’t live without you. I couldn’t live with the pain you caused. Why did you do it Gerard? And then you’re alive? All this time you’ve been alive? All the months- years- I spent grieving, Gerard. I buried you. I went to your funeral. I read a fucking eulogy, embarrassed myself in front of all those people, because some fuckwit thought I ‘knew you best’ because we were both fucking loners with nothing but eachother but really I didn’t know you at all and that’s what hurt the most, Gerard you were on the front of all the newspapers- why the fuck did you- what the fuck, Gerard??”

“Oh so you’re not even gonna ask me where I’ve been?” Gerard snapped.

“What?”

“You think it’s been easy for me?? You think you’re the only who’s been hurting?? You think I’ve enjoyed the past- what 5 years??”

And then Frank realised he was a selfish prick.

“No Gee, I-”

“You think it’s easy for a homeless 15 year old on the streets of New York, no money, no job, no nothing, you think I enjoyed that?? Yeah I fucked up. Maybe I shouldn’t have dumped you. And I definitely shouldn’t have run. But do you not think I spend every living moment regretting that decision?? But no it’s all about poor Frank Iero. Poor Frank Iero with a roof over his head and a loving family and a decent education. Poor Frank Iero who doesn’t have to become a fucking prostitute to survive. Poor Frank Iero who got a little embarrassed, huh? You don't know what that means. Poor Frank Iero who felt a few emotions but who at 16 was out with his mates instead of tied up in a basement, gagge- I’m sorry Frank- fuck- I didn’t believe they actually went through with it- the dead thing- I’m sorry- I fucked up so much- I-I- I’m so sorry” he trailed off, bursting into tears once again.

Frank gulped, realising the disgusting things done to him out there. He was already mentally unstable aged 15, now aged 20, having suffered fuck knows what, he was probably psychologically damaged beyond what Frank could bear to think about.

“It’s okay, Gee” he murmured “I’m sorry, I-I’m just in shock, where are you?”

“Somewhere, uh, downtown manhattan, I’m in an alleyway, opposite a Kmart”

“Do you have anywhere to go?” Frank asked gently.

“Not really, I wanted to text you before my phone died- it’s on 5%, and then just camp out here- maybe get my hands on some food, like before”

“Gee, baby, I have a car now, I’m gonna come and pick you up”

“No, it’s okay”

“Gerard, I’m not leaving you out there”

“My phones gonna die any minute, Frank”

“Okay, fuck, I still live in Belleville, I’ll be like half an hour, stay there, I’ll find you. I'll do anything to find you if I have to.”

“Frank, fuck no, okay, I dyed my hair and like I’m thinner now, look out for bright red hair like firetru-”

And then the phone cut off.

Frank sat back, looking at the time, midnight. Although in disbelief, he was filled with a sort of twisted happiness. Gerard was okay. He was wrecked, but okay. Okay in the sense he had a pulse that was beating just miles up the road.

All Frank's dreams were coming true.

He grabbed his wallet and car keys and fretted over what else he might need. He looked a mess, but did that even matter? He flicked through his stack of cds, looking for something Gerard might like. Of course, he’d thrown out most the CDs of Gerard’s favourite albums, because even years later, listening was like a knife in his chest.

Remembering time was of the essence, he gave up and raced out the door, down the steps two at a time, into his car and off down the road.

Half an hour later, he was in manhattan, driving in circles, the local radio station playing. He could feel his anxiety rising, in a dodgy area he didn’t know at all, at night, wondering if he would ever actually find Gerard.

“Hey” he called, pulling up alongside a group of drunk women, winding down his window “Do you know of any Kmart’s round here?”

“Uhh, there’s one like up, that way” one gestured roughly “Wait where are we Tiffany?”

“Manhattan” another, Tiffany, replied.

“I know that, silly! Where’s Kmart?” the first slurred.

“Down there” Tiffany gestured roughly, in the opposite direction to the other.

“Guys, do you actually know, or not? I’m kinda in a rush here” Frank interrupted, his fingers tapping the steering wheel, trying to contain the tsunami of emotions filling him up inside.

A third interjected and actually gave some coherent directions. Frank thanked them and sped off down the route, repeating it in his head. Continue up the road, take the first left, then the second left, Kmart should come in view when you get to the roundabout. He could feel his heart pounding, and wondered if he was losing his mind. Gerard was dead. Had he dreamt the entire experience? But no the messages were right there in his phone, the long call in his log. He couldn’t take his mind off them. He couldn’t comprehend the entire situation.

He was shaking as he approached the roundabout, terrified he was gonna pass out at the wheel. He wasn’t sure why he was so anxious and how he’d let himself get in such a state, but here he was almost shitting himself when he spotted the store.

He slowed, the street was deserted and of course the place was shut. Red hair. All he really had to go on now was bright red hair. He drove past, he couldn’t see anyone either side of the road.

Maybe he was hiding.

He wound down the window.

“Gerard?” he called. No answer.

He looked around for an alleyway, but there were none around. With a sigh, he parked up, letting his head rest on the wheel, tears running down his face.

Where was Gerard?

Had someone found him? Had he lost him again?

He didn’t know what to do, or what to think. Should he just go home? The thought only made him sob harder.

Maybe he was at the wrong Kmart. That must be it. He hoped and prayed that was it.

Calling Gerard’s name one last time, he drove off, tears still streaming down his face.

He didn’t know where he was or where he was going. Focusing on the fact, somewhere nearby Gerard was out in the cold (he hoped), he kept driving, headed south.

There must be another Kmart somewhere.

He drove for what was coming up to hours, or at least felt like it, circling unfamiliar neighbourhoods, losing his mind out there.

He was close to giving up, praying Gerard would survive and get in contact with him again, when in the corner of his eye he spotted a red ‘K’ down a side street.

Reflexively, his hit the brakes, whipping the steering wheel round, pulling a dangerous u-turn. He onto the road, beads of sweat pricking his forehead.

As the store grew closer, he slowed, scanning his surroundings, praying Gerard was around. He was nearly crying again, sure he wasn’t there either, when he saw the entrance to an alley on the other side of the street. He pulled up, looking sideways earnestly, his throat burning and eyes stinging. His heart leapt, A figure sat against the wall. Their knees were up, hugging themself, mostly obscured by shadow.

But bright red hair was illuminated by the streetlight on the corner.

His entire body relaxed, relief flooding him. Almost numb, he wound down the window for the third time that night, and took a few deep breaths, preparing himself.

“Gerard?” Frank called, his voice leaving his body higher pitched and not like his own at all.

The figure looked up, and Frank’s jaw dropped. Right there, glowing under the amber light was Gerard Way.

He was much thinner, his jawline and cheekbones more defined than ever before. Ratty red hair fell across some of his features, as he looked at Frank wide eyed, time seemingly stopping, the world revolving around the pair. To an untrained eye, he could be considered unrecognisable, but to Frank, he was more familiar than ever.

Gerard leapt up. Frank stared at him, like he had seen a ghost - hell he might as well have. He didn’t want to take his eyes off him in case he vanished as he blinked.

He walked round the car, flicking his hair out his face, looking round quickly, before opening the passenger door and diving in.

“Fuck it’s cold out there” he muttered, his arms still round himself. Frank just stared at him, taking him in, every single detail of his face was so different, but so familiar. The same cute nose, the same thick eyebrows, the same small lips, the same hazel eyes. He was grinning, this was a dream come true. 

Gerard was back. 

Barely realising, he leaned over and threw his arms around around the man, squeezing him tightly, never wanting to let go.

Gerard tensed in the hold, the contact unfamiliar. Awkwardly, he brought his arms out and placed them on Frank’s back. After far too long, Frank pulled away, beaming at him.

“You’re adorable” Gerard chuckled.

“No, I’m not, sorry, I’m just, a little, wow it’s really you” Frank rambled.

“Yeah it’s me” he replied.

Frank took a moment to compose himself, as if he was trying to make a good impression.

“So…” he smiled “Do you have any idea where we are and how to get back to belleville?”

Gerard laughed and Frank stared in awe at the sight.

“No, uh we’re somewhere in manhattan that’s literally all I know” he replied, before changing his tone “But can we make a move, it’s not safe out here”

Frank hummed, not prepared to pull his gaze away from the man enough to start driving.

“You’re so cute, Frankie, you’re still like 2 feet tall, I love it” Gerard giggled.

“Shut up” Frank muttered playfully, leaning over and turning on the car radio.

Gerard shuffled uncomfortably as the car pulled away, Frank watching him out the corner of his eye. He was wearing a surprisingly expensive looking leather jacket, but as he ran his hands through his hair and his sleeves slipped down, Frank noticed the goosebumps lining his skin. "If you're cold there's a hoodie of mine back there, it might be a little small but like it's there" Frank suggested. "Alright" Gerard replied, reaching backwards. Pulling the black fabric into his lap, he slipped off his jacket, his slender arms, lined with muscle, extending outwards. It was an understatement to say Frank was slightly distracted. 

As they drove along the straight road, Frank let his eyes dance over Gerard. He was wearing a vest with a pendant and skinny jeans. 

Then he spotted it. 

Though disguised by the loose fitting top, on the waistband of his skinnies was the unmistakable shape of a handgun. And as he focused his eyes back on the road, for a moment he feared for his life.

“W-what’s that?” Frank asked.

“What?” Gerard replied, innocently.

“In your waistband? You know what”

“Oh this” he smiled, pulling out a pistol and tossing it on the armrests.

“Y-yeah, uh, can you put it away, I don’t like it” Frank muttered, taken aback by Gerard’s nonchalance.

“You don’t have to worry about it”

“I thought you were a pacifist” he murmured warily.

Gerard snorted, almost mockingly.

“Fucking bullshit that was”

It was at that moment Frank realised Gerard, although familiar on the outside, was very different.


	2. i got two faces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this took so long agh

The journey had been tense after that, they’d spoken to work out the way home. Gerard appeared confident and quite laid back, oblivious to how, although ecstatic Gerard was alive, unsettled Frank was.

They arrived back at 3am, and Frank made Gerard put the damn gun in a locked cabinet and never touch it. Reluctantly, he agreed, but only after making sure the front door was triple locked.

Gerard went for a shower, and Frank sat thinking over the entire night. It was completely surreal.

He found himself already craving Gerard’s presence, vowing to never lose him again. He could sort this, they could sort this.

Nervously, Frank walked down the hall and tapped on the bathroom door gently.

“You okay in there?” he asked gently.

“Yep” Gerard called back out, his voice noticeably shaky “I’m just gonna dry off I-I’ll be out in a minute”

Frank hummed and went back into the living room. After a few minutes, Gerard reappeared in the doorway one of Frank’s fluffy pink bathrobes wrapped round him. They sat on the sofa, next to eachother, the TV still buzzing with the channel Frank had put on 4 hours earlier.

“So, Frankie” Gerard started “How have you been these past few years?”

“Alright I guess” Frank mumbled unsure of where to start.

“Come on, tell me what’s been going on, I mean do you have a job? What’s happened in the years since we last met?”

Frank thought for a moment.

“Tell me what happened with you first”

“Why” Gerard whined.

“Because you need to talk about things”

“Yeah well, some things are best left in the past” he said, quickly getting defensive.

“I’m just saying, I know you’re a massive softie at heart, even if you wanna act like some badass gangster with your gun and shit. And I highly doubt any of the stuff you’ve been through was highly pleasant. And now you're back, talking about it might give you some sort of closure, and I would never judge you for a word that comes out your mouth, Gee” Frank explained, watching him the whole time.

“Okay well, you never told me what’s happened with you, you first, then I might tell you some of my secrets” Gerard replied.

“Alright. I work at a record store, it doesn’t pay shit but I really like it there, it’s chill” he started  
“I really don’t know what to say, it’s been pretty uninteresting. After I like, thought you were dead, I got with this girl Jamia, she was nice, but I was pretty fucked up at the time, we were together for 2 years but we split when I was 18. It was quite a toxic relationship, I wasn’t in a good place, it was never gonna work. I haven’t been with anyone since. I got a few dogs but I had to give them to a shelter, because I moved out. Yeah, I graduated, then flatshared with Ray-”

“Oh my god, Ray!” Gerard gasped “How is he?”

“He’s good, he’s met someone now and his guitar’s going really well, he’s training to be a music teacher. And his fro’s gotten even bigger”

Gerard laughed weakly, and Frank realised his eyes were glistening in the lamplight, tears threatening to spill over.

“What else?” he asked, audibly a little choked up.

“Nothing really. We moved out last year, nothing happened, we just both had separate things to be doing. So I got this place. I started a shitty band, we’re all mates and I guess Ray’s included in that too because I will always love him. And that’s where I am now. I have work on monday.” Frank finished, Gerard having been nodding and humming at regular intervals.

“I’m so happy everything worked out for you Frankie, see I told you it would”

“Yeah, it’s gonna work out for you too you know, it was always gonna”

Gerard let out a sigh.

“So, Gerard, what the fuck’s happened over these past few years for you?”

“I don’t know where to start” he murmured.

“Okay, so you walked out the Iero/Way family residence for the last time and you …”

“I-I didn’t walk out. I climbed out the window. And- oh my god I’m crying, I haven’t thought back to this in ages. I kissed you goodbye you know- I was so naive- it was romantic. I kissed you goodbye and climbed out the window and got on a train”

Frank could feel himself welling up with tears, as he listened.

“I had like a few savings, only a couple of hundred dollars. I tried to make it last, but tried not to be obvious about my plans. I was in a fucked up state of mind Frankie, like a mixed episode. I think that’s the only time I’ve ever been like that”

Frank nodded, surprised he had brought up his bipolar, a diagnosis he had received just weeks before his disappearance.

“I can’t really even remember much after that, I just like kept getting on trains. I didn’t even know where I ended up. But I found this park, with this bush and I camped out there. It was california. And I was surprisingly happy, but that’s because it was summer and the nights were warm and short, and I was like really euphoric by this point. That bit’s a blur really. A nice blur.”

“We were so scared, Gee” Frank hummed.

“I know, I regret it all, I was young and stupid, I’m sorry”

“I know. What happened? I feel like this nice blur ended at some point.”

Gerard nibbled his lip “Yeah. Uh it did. Just stuff"

“What Gee?” he murmured, placing a hand on Gerard’s arm gently, the man tensing at the touch.

“I just like cut and bleached my hair, like really short”

“How?” Frank asked, out of genuine curiosity “I mean I'm assuming you were on the streets at this point”

“Shoplifting and a puddle. I freaked out and got chemical burns on my scalp though” he giggled weakly.

“What happened then?” Frank prompted, and Gerard continued, quickly wiping away the tears rolling down his cheeks.

“More shoplifting and then um, male prostitution”

“How old were you?” Frank asked carefully.

“Still 15”

“That’s- so did no one ask why you were so young? Is that how you lost your virginity?”

“Yeah” Gerard admitted “I don’t think they cared enough to check, but I got the money for it.”

“You should’ve gone to the police, that was rape baby-" the name slipped out, barely aware he'd said it until the word was hanging in the air "You- you were too young to consent”

Maybe if he continued Gerard wouldn't notice.

“I know, it’s just part of the job though, the lifestyle”

Frank could have cried.

“S-so, how did you end up here?” he asked.

“Just fucking stop” Gerard snapped “Sorry- no uh, do you have any coffee? I could use some coffee.”

“Uh, yeah, I-I, of course I do Gerard, who do you take me for?” maybe a little joke would break the tension “How do you like it again?”

“A little milky, one sugar” Gerard murmured.

Frank walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on, staring at his reflection in the window. It hit him how fucking sleep deprived he was, he had cavernous dark circles under his eyes and he was pretty sure he looked like a drug addict. He felt like he could fall asleep, stood right there. 

It was nearing 4am by this point, he didn’t really care. His thoughts were completely preoccupied with Gerard. The few seconds of self reflection was just a momentary lapse from the constant flood of ‘Gerard. Gerard. Gerard. Gerard. Gerard.’ that made up his train of thought. And he had no idea how he felt about it. Joy he supposed. Happy, beyond happy. Elated. Ecstatic.

But also, sick. He felt ill, he felt dizzy, detached from reality, and scared of something he couldn’t even pinpoint.

And as the kettle boiled, he saw in the window, the red haired figure appear in the doorway.

“Okay?” Gerard asked.

“Mhmm”

“Just checking”

Gerard disappeared back into the living room, as Frank made the coffees. A few minutes later, he followed, sitting back down, opposite Gerard and setting the coffees on the table.

“Are you okay?” Frank asked.

“Yeah”

They sat in semi comfortable silence, sipping their beverages. No matter how tired they both were, sleep was not something that would be coming to either or them anytime soon.

“Do you wanna carry on with your story?” Frank asked, breaking the silence “I mean, you don’t have to”

“Okay, I just” Gerard sighed “Where were we? The prostitution bit, oh yeahh. S-so one day this guy approached me- and told me about this house- this guy, he wanted like a pet. I jumped at the idea.”

“Oh Gerard” Frank breathed.

“It was a nice house. I think master faked my death”

“Don’t call the scumbag that” Frank growled, causing Gerard to visibly flinch back.

“I’m sorry, it’s habit, I never learnt his name” Gerard whispered, his breath fluttering.

“We need to go to the police Gee”

“No!” Gerard exclaimed.

“Why not?”

“Just because, Frank. I’m dead remember”

“You’re not, don’t say that, they can change the records, you can get legal documents, a proper job, some therapy if you need it.”

“No. It’s fine. It’s all bullshit Frank”

“But what about the poor soul buried under your gravestone? What about their family?”

“It doesn’t matter, one dead body is the same as the next”

Frank gulped, taken aback.

“Sorry, don’t worry, we’ll deal with that later” Frank murmured, reminding himself, even though he had resumed the badass front, Gerard wasn’t himself, and what he was saying was what he had been taught.

“It’s fine” Gerard replied.

Suddenly, a thought struck Frank and he could feel the bile rising in his throat.

“G-gee? You know earlier - on the phone - you said you were tied a-and- you know, in a basement? Was that with that guy?” he asked nervously.

“Yeah” Gerard replied, apparently unaffected “Some kinky BDSM shit”

“That’s- that’s fucked up, are you okay?”

“Yeah. I agreed to live there, so that’s kinda what it entailed” he smiled.

Frank realised the tears from a few moments ago were a rare sight from this Gerard. He wasn’t sure what to say, because this was clearly rape. Repeated sexual assault. And he was talking about it with a slight chuckle in his tone.

“Then what happened?”

“I got out and found a sugar daddy, he was cool, he was a mob boss so kitted me out with a bunch of stuff, then like 2 days ago, I got out of there and came here”

“How did you get out?”

“I’ve told you enough already haven’t I?”

“Yeah, you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to” Frank murmured, trying to soothe the man.

“I know, sorry, it just fucks with your head, I’ve done a lot of things, committed a lot of crimes, and I’m pretty sure there’s people out there who want my guts, I can’t afford to let my guard down”

“You can trust me, ba- friend” Frank murmured.

“I know, I just, you’re from a different time in my life, there’s like a line there’s Gerard, a normal if slightly messed up 13, 14, 15 year old. Then there’s 3111, or Party, or Poison, or Party Poison, they’re like my nicknames, codenames, code number, whatever you wanna call it. If I met you as Poison, I trust no one, it’s business. If I met you as Gerard, I can trust you with petty shit, stuff from my life before. I’ve met you as both, I don’t think I have much choice as to trust you”

“Who are you now? Gerard or Poison or whatever your nickname is”

Gerard thought for a moment.

“Gee, I guess. I’m never not Gerard. It’s just how much I let people see”

“You’ve changed a lot” Frank murmured.

“Well a fat, vegetarian, art dork teenager would’ve been annihilated by now”

“Is he still inside you?”

“That’s what she said” Gerard muttered.

“I’ll take that as a yes” Frank laughed at the stupidest fucking joke.

Gerard rested his head on Frank’s shoulder, sighing contently. Gently, Frank slipped his hands into his red locks, stroking his head tenderly with his thumb. Gerard hummed, nuzzling into Frank further, finding himself feeling the most secure he had in years, as they got sucked into the trashy ufo conspiracy ‘documentary’ on the telly.

“Can I ask you one more question?” Frank whispered as they both were nearly asleep.

“Yeah?”

“How are you? Like mentally”

“I’m not crazy, Frankie” he objected, but only nuzzling into him further.

“I know, but I wanna know you’re looking after yourself, looking after your mental health, and I want to look after you too” Frank murmured.

Gerard hummed.

“Where are you right now? Like a rating out of 10, 10 being on top of the world or like the height of mania, 0 being the lowest you’ve ever felt, you know the drill” Frank asked quietly.

“It’s hard to tell” Gerard whispered “Overall, average, 4, 5, 6 or 7. But right this second, snuggled up to Frank Iero? A good 10.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me:  
> @spaceoddigee (twitter)  
> dont---try.tumblr.com


	3. fake you out aka please pretend this chapter isn't shit (for my self worth)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why is every title a twenty one pilots song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for dodgy updates also please reread the past few chapter if you already read them before this update bc i made some slight changes like gonna build up a bit of tension

Frank woke up on the sofa with a crook in his neck and an empty space beside him.

It took him a moment to orientate himself. And then he remembered Gerard. And then he realised he was alone in the apartment.

It had all been a dream?

He felt tears well up at the thought. Everything had been so perfect. He had Gerard back. But where was he now?

“Gee?” he called out, only to receive silence in return, just as he expected.

Had it really all been a dream? Or was that a dream right there?

Gerard was dead. Gerard had died. It must’ve been a dream. A crazy, vivid dream.

He sat himself up slightly, the discovery channel still playing, this time some nature documentary. He had never felt so alone, strangled by the lump in his throat, moments away from sobbing his heart out.

He was losing his mind.

And then he spotted a piece of paper on the table and his breath hitched.

A note from Gerard. It was real.

He picked it up with shaking hands, and breathed a sigh of relief as he read.

_Hey Frank,  
Woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep, gone for a walk.  
Be back when I’m back, but I promise I will be <3  
G xx_

Frank reread the note, taking in Gerard’s scribbly handwriting. 

He checked the time, 7am, and hoped he would be back soon, it was unnerving him being alone. Even though there was physical evidence Gerard was alive, he couldn’t shake the feeling his brain was playing tricks on him. He just had to hold him in his arms once again.

***

Frank must’ve fallen asleep again, because next thing he knew, he was waking up at 10am. He realised he was still in the room alone, and his heart dropped.

“Gerard?” he called out nervously.

“Yeahh” Gerard called from the other room.

“Just checking you’re back”

Happily, Frank hopped up, walking into his bedroom, to see Gerard laying on his bed on top of the covers.

“Hey, what are you doing in here?” Frank asked.

“Chilling” he smiled sleepily at him.

“Nice walk?”

“Huh? Yeah”

Frank smiled at Gerard laying there looking all adorable and dopey, in the morning.

“You okay?” Frank asked.

“Yeah”

“Okay well, I’ll be making coffee if you want it”

“Nahh, I’ll doze here a while”

“Sweet dreams then” Frank smiled, closing his bedroom door once again. 

***

It was 1pm by the time Gerard emerged.

“Sleep well?” Frank asked with a smile, as Gerard entered the kitchen, looking a little haggard.

“Something like that” he breathed.

“Coffee?” Frank offered.

“Alright” Gerard groaned “I have a headache”

“There’s paracetamol in the cupboard next to the fridge, if you want it”

Gerard opened the cupboard gratefully, before popping two pills.

“When did you last eat?” Frank asked.

“Uhh” Gerard thought “I think breakfast yesterday, or dinner the day before, I can’t remember”

“Gerard!” Frank scolded “You need to look after yourself”

“Whatever”

“I’m making pancakes for us both, alright?”

“Cool”

“Are you okay Gerard?” Frank asked, getting the ingredients out the cupboard.

“Yeah, I guess”

“Rating?”

“Frank, holy shit can you stop for one goddamn minute about stupid fucking manic depression, I’ve been looking after myself for the past 5 years, I don’t need you policing my every fucking move”

“Sorry, I-I didn’t mean to, I just care about you, I don’t wanna lose you again”

“Whatever” Gerard muttered, walking back into the living room.

And even though Gerard would be pissed if he knew, Frank couldn’t help but note his mood dropping so quickly.

***

After lunch, Gerard put his phone on charge.

That planted the reminder in Frank’s head that he was still yet to contact anyone about Gerard’s existence. Mikey Way’s number was still sat in his phone, screaming out to him, and he ached to call it, but as harsh as it sounded, a bit of Frank wasn’t sure if Mikey would want his older brother back. And he hadn’t even broached the topic with Gerard. But the longer he kept Gerard here without telling anyone, the weirder things would look, and the harder things would be.

So that’s how Frank found himself trying to tactfully bring up serious topics like the law and family with an incredibly grumpy, mentally ill, 20 year old with a gun, who was probably still emotionally a highschooler, because shit like this stunts your development.

“You liked that?” Frank asked, nodding to the clean plate in front of Gerard.

“I haven’t had pancakes in fucking ages” he gave a smile “Thanks”

“So” Frank started “How’s your relationship with Mikey?”

“Well non existent since I’m literally dead to him”

“Would you ever consider making it existent?”

“I’m not sure he’d want me to” Gerard sighed.

“I think he would” Frank murmured “He misses you”

“Why are you asking this anyway?” Gerard snapped.

“I just- I just was thinking about how I still have his number in my phone, I mean he might’ve changed it, but if you wanted to contact him, it’s something we could try”

Gerard looked at Frank with an unreadable expression.

“And I mean, he could provide some help” Frank continued “You know, he might have advice for legalities and shit. I don’t know, but a problem shared is a problem halved and all that”

“Can we call him?” Gerard asked quickly “Like right now”

“O-okay” Frank murmured, getting his phone out “What should we say?”

“Hey I’m not dead”

“No- but like, I don’t- maybe I should talk to him and explain the situation before you talk, so he doesn’t like straight up shit his pants”

“Okay”

Frank thought for a moment, and opened up Mikey’s contact. He had to think of something decent to say to explain this situation. ‘Hey, your brother’s not dead’ Well it’s to the point. ‘Hey, some pedophile abducted your brother after he ran away and faked his death’ It’s accurate. ‘Hey, I’m eating pancakes with your dead brother’. No.

“Go on” Gerard said quickly, pointing to the call button. Frank stared at it for a few moments and suddenly Gerard’s finger darted out, pressed the button and it was ringing.

“Don’t say anything” Frank breathed, trying to compose himself.

He turned on loudspeaker and let the repeating buzzes fill the room.

“Hey Frank” Mikey answered.

Gerard brought his hand to his mouth at the sound of his brother’s voice, tensing, overcome with fuck knows what emotion.

“H-hi” Frank stuttered out.

“What’s up?” Mikey asked “Long time no see!”

“l need to talk to you about something important, like insanely important, can you talk?”

“Uh, yeah, what is it bro?”

“Okay, uh, G-Gerard’s alive”

“Frank” Mikey breathed, in that tone. The ‘I Call Bullshit’ tone.

“Listen, hear me out, let me explain the whole story and then yeah”

“Frank, I know it’s what we all want, but Gee’s not coming back”

In front of Frank, Gerard’s face scrunched up into a frown..

“Listen Mikey, please hear me out, I promise”

Mikey made a sort of unconvinced noise, but let him continue none the less.

“Last night, I got a text, saying ‘Miss you’ and a heart, from an unknown number”

“Frank, it was probably someone playing a joke”

“Listen Mikey, it was him, let me explain the entire thing”

Mikey let out an exasperated noise.

“I told him if he didn’t tell me who he was, I would block his number, and he did, he said ‘it’s Gee’. Of course I assumed it was a joke and went to block his number when he literally called me and we spoke on the phone and he told me the rough area of where he was, so I drove round and I found him and took him back to my-”

“You’re lying!” Mikey cried.

“I’m not, he told me everything that happened, someone, some pedo, faked his death, I-I don’t know who’s buried but it’s not Gerard because Gerard’s right here”

“What the fuck! You’re lying! Frank why would you li-”

“Mikey” Gerard murmured.

And the line went silent.

“Breathe Mikey, oh my god, why does everyone cease breathing when I say their names, Frank did the same”

“Cuz you’re dead asshole, look it’s clearly not even you just, go- go fuck yourself whoever you are”

“It’s me” Gerard replied.

“It’s not! It can’t be! This must be a recording, Frank you sick fuck, what the fuck, is this a prank”

“No!” Gerard and Frank said in unision.

“I swear I’m not a recording, get me to say any phrase right now and I’ll say it” Gerard mumbled.

“I don’t know, uh, um, fuck”

“Fuck”

“It can’t be, it’s not, fuck off please”

“Mikey, please don’t hate me, I’m sorry I fucked everything up but it’s definately me and I love you and miss you please”

“Where are you?”

“Frank’s place”

“Oh my god, I’m coming, don’t hang up until I get there I’m on my way”

There was a lot of rustling on the other end, and you could hear mikey running, the air rushing over the microphone. Almost seconds later, a car door slammed.

“I’m on my way, Gerard”

Mikey just repeated it,over and over again as he sped through traffic.

“Fuck, Gerard, I missed you, I’m on my way, I’m on my way, fuck, oh my god, fuckfuckfuck, Gerard, I love you”

By the time, Mikey had arrived, he could barely think of a word to say, in a state of shock.

He climbed up the stairs 2 at a time, and knocked on Frank’s door, his heart pounding.

It opened slowly at first, Frank’s head poking through the gap, before opening enough for Mikey to step inside. 

As the door shut, Gerard appeared in the doorway and all the colour drained from Mikey’s face.

He ran forward, throwing him arms round Gerard's neck. He had always been taller but he hung off his older brother like a monkey.

Gerard wrapped his arms around him carefully, barely comprehending what was happening.

“I missed you” Mikey murmured, crying into Gerard's shoulder, snot and tears staining his shoulder.

“I missed you too” Gerard replied.

Frank teared up as he watched the pair.

He had missed Gerard so much, and truthfully he had missed Mikey as well.

Hd missed what he had 5 years ago, and what he had right there in the moment.

All he needed now was for Ray to turn up, and the group would be complete.

But despite how it seemed, it wasn't a fantasy, and the dream come true came with quite a few nightmares, something that came to light as he spent the afternoon paraphrasing to Mikey what Gerard had said the previous night, because he sure as hell wasn't opening up like that again.

Gerard dominated the conversation, from chatting about his art to a new band he had found while away, but as Mikey brought up more sensitive topics, gently asking about what they were gonna in regards to the law, everything changed.

With a door slam and a string of profanities, Gerard stormed out, shutting himself in the bathroom.

It felt unnatural, and went against everything their heart was telling them but they gave Gerard his space, asking through the door if he was okay - he assured him he was.

Reluctantly, Mikey headed home at about 8pm.

And apparently Gerard fell asleep on the bathroom floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u enjoyed mateys ik the end is kinda rushed and this is sort of summaryey fillerey idek the next chapter will be like DEEP !! PLOT !! DRAMA !! GOOD SHIT !! BAD SHIT !! PETEKEY !! LOTS OF PETEKEY !! ANGST !! LOTS OF FUCKING ANGST !! WELCOME TO HELL !!
> 
> anyway stay tuned for that sometime in the next 10 years whenever i get my shit together enough to update

**Author's Note:**

> im bad @ updating plz don't hate me or expect too much
> 
> follow me on twitter @spaceoddigee and tumblr dont---try


End file.
